Struggling

I can no longer lie.. I have been struggling for awhile now. I hate that this is already starting. I see the way it affects the people around me, and I do not want to be like them. If only I could forgive. I dont want to though. I think of all the mean horrible things that happened. The lies that were told, the things that were said, and then the disappearing act. This has all caused me to pull away from everyone. I no longer trust anyone. I do not want to open myself up again for fearing this will happen again. How can one person be so cruel? So selfish? So prideful? I dont blame him, I wouldnt want to face the fact that everything was a lie, and all a secret.

You tore me down to nothing. I was left standing alone; trying to pick up the pieces and fit them all together. Everything all started to make sense. I could see why my friends didnt like you, I can see why you thought you were this most righteous person, and most of all I can see why you tried to change everything about me. It was all because you didnt want me to find out who you really were. Thanks to you, I know see that you are missing out on a really great girl (if you would have only noticed), I totally deserve someone better than you, and most of all to trust those around me, for they see when my judgement is blind.

It is just going to take some time for me to forgive. And until then, I will be in my hole, not coming out until I am ready to face the light. If only he could see what he is missing out on. Thanks to you, I learned who I do not want to be with. I am glad I found out before I was more deceived. Thanks, Thanks for being an ass. It has taught me a lot!