Random Thoughts..

Life is crazy. I really feel like I need to slow down. I feel like if I am always going that I accomplish a lot more. I always have to be doing something or else it will result in me wanting to do nothing at all. If my mind isn't occupied than I think to much about things I would like to forget. Why is the past so hard to forget. I used to be really good at letting things go. Just brushing them off and forgetting that they even happened. Lately every little thing has come back to haunt me, to remind me, not letting me forget. I want to be careless, carefree, and free willing like I used to be. They just cannot escape.

What do you think would happen if everyone in the world just disappeared so that they did not have to face their wrong doings? Do you think that everyone would just eventually become numb from being hurt? Would anyone really even care? Maybe that is what makes some people different than others. They are willing to face that they were wrong and actually stand up for what they did.

I guess I just need to realize that almost everyone is different that it.

Do you run away from things?

Do you have a hard time trusting?

What is holding you back from becoming who would like to be?

Snow in September...

As I was driving in the canyon to work; I noticed that as I got higher into the mountains it was snowing. Not just a few little flakes, but huge massive flakes and lots of them. I was thinking it is only September, it cannot start snowing now. If this continues we are going to have a long winter, which I am not looking forward to. Who wants to watch football games in the snow? Who likes when there is snow on Halloween? Not me! I hate it. Why do I live in Utah when I hate the snow. We have probably have 4 months of snow and I enjoy probably only the first day of it. It has just barely started and I am ready for it to go away!


* This is what I drove to work in!

Weber State...Great Great Great!

I am passionate about football. The obsession started in high school when I performed at the half times and had friends who were on the team. I never missed a game. My parents had reserved seating even after I graduated so we could have decent seats at the games. I love everything about the games; from the kids with painted faces, drinking hot chocolate, watching the cheerleaders and dancers, and of course the hot football players.

One of my really good friends is the punter for Weber State. He is really amazing. I used to go to the game in high school just to watch him, not only because he was good, but I kinda had a crush on him. So he invited me to their first home game of the season, so I grabbed my sister and we went to the game. It was so much fun, we braved the pooring rain, and freezing cold temperatures. Even though they lost it was still really fun to see him play again.

I cant wait until their next home game to go watch him again. We had such a good time, and I think next year I am going to buy season tickets!

Running...

I hate to run. I think it is torture. I haven't gone running since I was on the high school drill team, which was a long time ago. I have come to the conclusion that I dont like it because nothing about it entertains me. I am all for taking an aerobics class where you can laugh at all the uncoordinated ladies and the teacher in her spandex and thong leotard. Running on the other hand..BORING... So I have noticed lately that I have gained a little weight, not a lot, but I can certainly tell. It has all gone to my boobs. They are almost the same size as my mom who is HUGE..haha. I had to go buy a new bra because before I was overflowing. So tonight I went and worked out. It was actually refreshing for once. I think that I will make it a new habit. I really just dont want my big boobs anymore. I am going to try any talk my mom into coming with me next time. Hopefully she will come because I am certain it will make it her feel better.

* just so you know I have always wanted bigger boobs, but once you have them they are just a pain like everyone says!

100 Things About Me!

I have seen this done on many blogs and think it is a great way for people to get to know eachother. So here you go, 100 random facts about me!

1. I spent my summers as a child at my grandma’s framing shop and loved it.
2. I loved Bubble Gum Cigarettes
3. I love Carbs- i.e. pasta, bread, potatoes
4. I hate Meat
5. I have only had two jobs in my life and don’t want anymore
6. I start a new diet every week
7. I was on the dance team in high school, and have danced my whole life
8. I love getting together with my extended family. I have the best cousins and they have great spouses and children.
9. I love Lake Lyman. Go camping here every October with the whole Peterson family.
10. My Grandpa Peterson tells the best stories of him and his friends.
11. Family is the most important thing to me

12. I have the most awesome friends.
13. I love my church!
14. I want a motorcycle- or just some hot guy to take me on a ride!
15. The Fall is my favorite time of year. I love when the trees turn colors.
16. My Parents are seriously the best. No Joke.
17. I love being the oldest.
18. My sisters are my best friends

19. I want to be well traveled. I know I will be.
20. I am majoring in History.
21. I will one day own a Villa in Italy. Where there will be a white pebble drive lined with green Cyprus Trees.-haha its good to dream right?
22. In my next life, I want to be a Bounty Hunter or and FBI Agent.
23. I had to wear a neck brace for 10 weeks. I even had to wear it to graduation.
24. Dr. Pepper= Life
25. I love to have/ plan parties.
26. I love shoes. They never get to small like the rest of my clothes.
27. If I didn’t want to have a family, I would go to medical school and become and ER Physician.
28. I love books. I want to someday have an extensive library.
29. I am really shy until I feel like I can trust you.
30. I hate wrinkly sheets, so I iron them.
31. One day when I own a house it will look like the Pottery Barn catalog.
32. I love to shop when I have lots of money to spend.
33. I know every word to every Garth Brooks song. Thank Dad!
34. I can’t marry someone who doesn’t play baseball or basketball. It is a must being married to a Peterson.
35. I love watching football.
36. I want to be a trendy mom.
37. I love to go boating, but suck at wakeboarding and skiing.
38. I love makeup from Sephora
39. I like to keep up on all the Hollywood Gossip.
40. I try to be a good role model for my sisters.
41. I love to take pictures. They are great memories.
42. I just got a new Blackberry Pearl and love it!
43. I hope I will one day be as successful as my parents.
44. My clothes have to be color coordinated.
45. My jeans are done by the color of the wash.
46. I have recently become a fan of Designer Jeans. They honestly fit better.
47. I love all kinds of cheese
48. I am always on time, if not 5 minutes early
49. My dream car is a black Range Rover with huge wheels
50. When I was younger my mom would send me to Las Vegas alone for dance.
51. Because of dance I have been able to train with some awesome people: Wade Robson, Mia Michaels- from So You Think You Can Dance, and so many others.
52. I also got to travel a lot for dance.
53. I work at an awesome place where I get to go golfing for free.
54. I hate to golf.
55. I love candles and have them all over my room.
56. In college, I was known as the mother. I kept all my partying roommates in line.
57. I love the mountains and can’t imagine not living near them
58. I love flying on airplanes. It is such a good feeling knowing that you are that much closer to your vacation.
59. I love music- all kinds.
60. I love to cook and entertain
61. When I was in Elementary I used to wear curlers in my hair to school for dance competitions.
62. I love soup and salad from Zuppas.
63. I think getting hit on by guys is completely tacky.
64. I wear high heels almost every day.
65. I love sending packages to Missionaries.
66. I love shopping at Target.
67. I hate surprises
68. I have been going on the same hike for Easter with family for years.
69. The Peterson family is really active. Always playing games like baseball, basketball,and we even play night games.

70. When I was little my Grandma taught me how to play Boggle and Yahtzee.
71. Twin Pops is what my Grandpa keeps for us as treats.
72. I love going to the movies. I get it from my mom.
73. I love fresh flowers
74. I am running out of ideas…
75. I love to go horse back riding.
76. I can’t wear fingernail polish. I just pick it off.
77. I have a really bad short term memory.
78. I would love to teach dance, but am way too afraid of what people think.
79. I love to spoil my sisters and cousins (only Janie and Josh)
80. I love to play with Lincoln Logs; they bring me back to my childhood.
81. I love to go out to eat
82. Dutch Oven cooking is my favorite
83. I love Disney Movies
84. I want to get married in the San Diego Temple

85. I want to someday teach High School
86. Halloween is my favorite holiday.
87. I love to watch the Food Network
88. I love having a magazine subscription to any magazine
89. I love Ebay
90. I am a really good public speaker
91. When I was in Young Women’s, I gave a talk in Sacrament meeting about every 3-4 months because everyone else would say no.
92. I am also too cold.
93. I love my parents’ big fireplace.
94. I have really bad arthritis in my neck.
95. I love fresh ripe strawberries
96. I would like to be able to live more in the moment rather than in the past or the future.
97. I already know what I am going to name my kids. I won’t tell because I have too many cousins and names are starting to get used for the second time around!
98. I have locked myself out on a deck and had to jump down like 15 feet..haha in a skirt!
99. I am a really fast learner.
100. It only took me 4 hours to do this. haha

Changing the world..

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world… As I grew older and wiser, I realized the word would not change… and I decided to shorten my sights, somewhat and change only my country, but it too seemed immovable.. As I entered my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I sought to change only my family, those closest to me, but alas they would have none of it. And now here I lie on my death bed and realize that if only I’d changed myself first, then by example I may have influenced my family, and with their encouragement and support. I may have bettered my country, and who knows, I may have changed the world.- Unknown

Struggling

I can no longer lie.. I have been struggling for awhile now. I hate that this is already starting. I see the way it affects the people around me, and I do not want to be like them. If only I could forgive. I dont want to though. I think of all the mean horrible things that happened. The lies that were told, the things that were said, and then the disappearing act. This has all caused me to pull away from everyone. I no longer trust anyone. I do not want to open myself up again for fearing this will happen again. How can one person be so cruel? So selfish? So prideful? I dont blame him, I wouldnt want to face the fact that everything was a lie, and all a secret.

You tore me down to nothing. I was left standing alone; trying to pick up the pieces and fit them all together. Everything all started to make sense. I could see why my friends didnt like you, I can see why you thought you were this most righteous person, and most of all I can see why you tried to change everything about me. It was all because you didnt want me to find out who you really were. Thanks to you, I know see that you are missing out on a really great girl (if you would have only noticed), I totally deserve someone better than you, and most of all to trust those around me, for they see when my judgement is blind.

It is just going to take some time for me to forgive. And until then, I will be in my hole, not coming out until I am ready to face the light. If only he could see what he is missing out on. Thanks to you, I learned who I do not want to be with. I am glad I found out before I was more deceived. Thanks, Thanks for being an ass. It has taught me a lot!

Friends

I have the most amazing friends. They are all such great examples to me. We have gone through some really tough times and have had some really great experiences together. We have some fun memories of going boating, camping, random road trips, and the most recent of memories our friend Alexis getting baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Being able to be a part of her special day will always hold a really special place in my heart! I was her roommate in our first year of college. My other roommate and I tried really hard to be good examples to her, since we wanted her to know that even without our parents influence that we loved the church with all of our hearts. I will never forget the day she told all of us that she had been taking the discussions and wanted to get baptized. My heart was filled with so much joy, as I knew that she would be blessed greatly. She asked to start a fast so that her families hearts would be soften, as they are strong member of their Baptist church.

On July 7, 2007 she was baptized. It remember thinking that I wished I remembered my baptism day. I knew that my friends would remember this special day forever. We had all tried to be good example to her for many years. The spirit was so strong during the talks some of my friends gave and when the Mission President and his wife bore their testimonies, I knew with full conviction that the church is so true.

My New Life Motto.. Enjoy!

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks you heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it!

Vulnerable

There comes a time when you must stand alone.
You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
You must be willing to make sacrifices.
You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.
Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.
Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.

I am staring a new journey, down a new path. Nothing seems familiar and I am completely ok with that. I have never felt so vulnerable to new things. New things are coming my way. I am starting a new job, going to a new school, having to make new friends, and start being responsible for my own finances. I am hoping that as I start this journey that my vulnerability will slowly fade away.